Death By Juicing

16 May 2012

I have never been someone who 'diets' or goes on quick weight loss binges. 

After everything that has been done to my liver and hormones from the meds, I think a juice cleanse would be great to jump start my system and motivate me to get everything back to business. I mean, after 3 days of suffering and enduring borderline starvation, I have a feeling Snickers won't be quite so appealing when considering I'd have to do it all over again to stomp out the candy trail left in my system. 

I attempted this once before when my mom gave me her Jack Lalanne Juicer. I had delusions of grandeur, skinny jeans and bikinis when I brought it home. I sent Micah on a veggie buying spree and wasted a good bit of money and fresh produce. The first morning, I couldn't figure out why the damn juicer wouldn't turn on, so I skipped it and went down the street to a juice cafe and ordered their most potent (and fruit free) drink. 

I'm a balls to the wall kind of girl, what can I say.
I took one sip and promptly dry heaved, then spit the concoction out the window of my moving car. Thank heavens I didn't take a sip in the store. I went home and added some lemon to the mix, hoping for resolution. No such luck. It tasted like dirty band aids. I dumped it down the disposal and gave up.

So, starting today, Micah and I will be beginning a 3 day juice cleanse that I found via Lauryn at The Skinny Confidential. I will wrap up the experiment in Monday's post, and you'll get to read all of the nitty gritty details, as well as all the sugar starved musings of a woman possessed. This will be a true test of our marriage as it falls only two weeks before our 1 year anniversary.

{For up to the minute updates, follow me on Instagram @thesecondhandmagpie! and Twitter @secondhandmagpi

Three days of juices, eight ounces every hour for eight hours, lots of water in between & lean protein with veggies after 6 pm.

Day 1: Fresh 7 Liver & Kidney Detox

Blend 6 apples, 6 beets, 6 tomatoes, 6 large carrots, 6 pieces of celery, 6 cucumber, & 3 juiced lemon together [ 8 oz. every hour for 8 hours ].

Day 2: Fresh 6 Green Drink

Blend 6 apples, 6 pieces of celery, 6 whole cucumber, 3 large ginger roots, 3 heaping handfuls of parsley & 3 heaping handfuls of spinach together [8 oz. every hour for 8 hours ].

Day 3:  Fresh 9 Super Colon Detox

Blend 6 beets, 6 large carrots, 6 pieces of celery, 6 whole cucumber, 3 handful of ginger, 3 juiced lemons, 4 heaping handfuls of lettuce, 3 heaping handfuls of parsley & 4 heaping handfuls of kale [ 8 oz. every hour for 8 hours ].

27 comments:

  1. ahhh i've had the same experience where I TRIED it and it was so gross! I actually just bought a juicer so mayyyyybe I should try to give it a try again. Good luck girrl!!!!

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    1. Haha they are pretty yuck. I'm holding my nose through it and then rinsing with water after each time. Yeesh.

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  2. Make sure the ginger gets chopped up very well and in to small pieces. Plain old ginger by itself could cause a stomach heaving all over- trust me on this one!

    -Leanne

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    1. Yeah, the juicing place will be doing it so I trust that they will have it done right. I do love me some ginger though. Yum!

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  3. What kind of juicer do you have? I'm wanting to try one of these, so I can't wait to read how it turned out! Good luck....hold your nose if necessary! :)
    -K

    The Mrs. and The Momma

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    1. I ended up going through Daily Juice here in Austin. They will make the juice and bottle it for you so there's no mess. They have a location on Barton Springs and on in Hyde Park.

      And my poor nose is going to be bruised after holding it so tight!

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  4. The ecard speaks to me....haha. Good luck! You have more guts than I!

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    1. Right!? It's so true! Why waste good food... :)

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  5. I am definitely interested to hear how this goes because I have been tempted to try a cleanse like this from time to time... good luck!

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    1. I've been tempted too because it sounds so beneficial. Those first few drinks are rouuuggghhhhh. I'm dreaming about anything I can chew.

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  6. Interested in reading about the results! Loved the ecard, haha.

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    1. I saw that and thought... oh my gosh. I do this every time I think I'm going on a healthy streak. How perfect!

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  7. best of luck with your cleanse!

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  8. I did this (sorta) last month. I followed the BluePrint Cleanse 3 day cleanse, and it went okay. I was super prepared, I only ate raw healthy food for like 3-5 days before the cleanse and I eased myself back into eating solid food after it. My only hurdle was cleaning the juicer 5-6 times a day. That's where all the work is.

    So this month, in fact on Monday, I start a FIVE day cleanse. The only thing is, I'm not doing it myself. I'm paying a local juice/raw restaurant to juice everything for me. Each night I pick up my juices for the next day. Basically it's a guided cleanse. My sanity thanks me.

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    1. Oh girl. You're brave. I did go through a local juice bar here for the juicing because I know better. Put me in a kitchen, and I'll blow something up. However, I am not accustomed to the taste of this business and may wuss out.

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  9. Thanks for stopping by my blog and tweeting me!
    I love this idea..I'd like to try it sometime!
    :)

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    1. I'll post on Monday and let everyone know I survived. :)

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  10. oh.my.gosh. you are a crazy lady! I admire your courage in doing this... I couldn't give up my beloved food. What can I say, I love to chew? Can't wait to see how you feel in the end!

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    1. Ha well, I have a sneaking suspicion that I won't make it past day 2. The taste is intense, and I'm really nauseous from not eating and this juice combined.

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  11. I have done two juice cleanses. Each time I am in the middle of it and wonder WHY I decided to do it. But I have done in twice, so go figure.

    Fyi, Beets make EVERYTHING purple. erm.

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    1. HAHA! So I've heard. My husband sent me a text today about the colors of his 'everything' and I nearly died laughing. Kind of scary, but it was good to know ahead of time! Purple poo would be a little upsetting without warning.

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  12. good luck with this, sounds awesome, i bet you'll feel great afterwards!

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    1. Thank you! I'm hoping I can stick with it. Tomorrow's an 11 hour work day, so I may crack under the pressure. Fingers crossed!

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  13. Omg, I feel like I'm reading my own diary. My husband and I have watched about a million and one food documentaries lately, leading us to the conclusion that we need WAY more veggies in our lives... So we bought a cheap juicer and wowza. Yes, it must be an acquired taste. Still waiting for my taste buds to get the memo, but I'm sure they'll come around eventually. Can't wait to read how your 3 days go!!

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  14. Keeping my fingers crossed for you that there are not too many temptations coming around the corner within the next three days!!!

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  15. When I read Colon Detox I was hoping this was not moving in the direction of homemade enemas. I've never done a juice cleanse before but it looks like you need quite a bit of discipline. Keep it up!

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