When the Leaves

Autumn is my most favorite time of year. 

The air gets crisp, humidity goes down and the holiday season begins. Blazers, boots and scarves become wardrobe staples and the occasional sweater makes an appearance. Comfort food is at its prime, and you're allowed to burn candles that smell like leaves and pumpkin.

Autumn has also been the most heartbreaking of all the seasons for me. Every major break up that I have gone through has been between the months of August and November. While the light dims and the air cools, my heart flutters with excitement, but also with a sense of impending sadness. I remember watching the leaves change and the earth settle in for a long hibernation, and thinking that I'd be spending the holidays alone, left to snuggle up in cozy sweaters and down blankets instead of the arms of the one I was missing. Just as the cologne of a love or the smell of mom's pecan pie can conjure up memories of a love past or childhood holidays, the diminished light and crunching leaves occasionally remind me of a lingering sadness. Yes, I am now happily married with a wonderful husband, but the sting of a love lost never really disappears. 

This could be because I had no real variation in when I experienced a breakup, or have a tendency to tie my memories to smells or seasons or even a specific location.  But for whatever reason, this season has held a bit of melancholy for me.

After many fall seasons spent picking up the pieces of shattered expectations, it has been incredibly refreshing to experience fall with consistent joy and fulfillment. This year, Micah will be helping set up our Christmas tree and will be hanging lights around the house. I will have someone to rave over my spice cake for Thanksgiving, and to explore a pumpkin patch with. I am building new memories during my favorite time of year, and now I'll smile and remember that the seasons past are what brought me here today. 

I'm not a very 'mushy' person who gushes over her love for her husband, but felt like I should share this. Yes there are arguments and power struggles and miscommunications. But at the end of the day, I've got my love to keep me warm.

That's A Wrap

Wedding week is over! It was so fun to go back and look through all of the pictures from our big day!

Missed it? Check out the
Proposal
 Engagement Photos
Getting Ready
The Dress!
The Ceremony
The Reception
The Decor

Also, no wedding is complete without the wedding trailer. The video and the trailer gave us such a different perspective of our big day, and without it, I doubt we would have remembered much! Plus, it allowed everyone who wasn't able to come (and you guys!) a chance to take a peek into the feel of the day.

Our video was produced by 1023 Media/The Wedding Theater here in Austin, and the guys seriously could not have done a better job. So, here is a recap of one of the happiest, most stressful and life changing days of my life.

 After all the fuss and hoopla were over, we were lucky enough to be featured on two different wedding blogs! 

A Paper Proposal Feature

LaBelle Bride Feature

 I hope you all have enjoyed watching our love story step by step. It has been such an intense year, and I can't wait to finally settle into married life and see what it really has to offer!

The Little Things

In wedding planning, there were few things more important than the decor. I wanted an excellent videographer/photographer, a one of a kind dress and handmade decor.

Well, and a one of a kind ring. Natch.

I spent months poring through thrift stores, consignment shops and garage sales for milk glass, blue jars, old books and other miscellaneous decor items to fill our reception with. I hand made countless vellum paper flowers for the gift area and mantles, mason jars for vases, framed chalkboards for menus, upholstered letters, cake stands, mustaches, banners, signs and labels.

And for the record, this was in the age before Pinterest.

Half of the fun was finding all of the little things to add a special touch to our day. We used owl salt and pepper shakers for our cake toppers, I found large blue vintage crystal clip on earrings to adorn my shoes and hand made my birdcage veil. Instead of a guest book, we found a poster by my favorite artist, Masha D'yans for everyone to sign, and it now hangs in our bedroom.

We had some serious snafu's with our decor, as the wedding coordinator threw everything I had planned out the window the day of the wedding and went with her own version of my ideas. I had hand made 70 blue mason jars to place around the venue with flowers, as well as to hold our bouquets and favors, but she went ahead and pocketed those, not using a single one.

Luckily for us, I found/made enough things to fill in the blanks. And I also got all my goodies back in a secret black-ops mission with my mom.

Oh, and I'll be posting a tutorial on how to make those in the very near future, as well as the cake stands!

Our cake, hand made by Micah's cousin Megan to match my dress!

Let The Fun Begin

Now the fun starts.

The nerves are gone, the music is on and it's time for some fun photos. This was my favorite time of the wedding. I got to relax, enjoy my guests and have some excellent Mexican food. Plus, I got to see everyone who came out for our big day.

We wanted our reception to be more like a big party for our friends and family. We didn't want to weigh it down with too many formalities, speeches and traditions. So we did just that.

The reception kicked off with our first dance and went straight into food and fun. The music was a collection of songs we put together on our trusty iPod and plugged it into the speakers. No DJ needed! It moved into a couple of toasts, the opening of the candy bar and more food, sangria and dancing.

People really do mean it when they say the day flies by. Thank heavens for these photos, or else I probably would have forgotten most of it by now.

We made 100 of these bad boys.

Shiner Bock Beer Cupcakes. Heavenly.

The Part Where I Ugly Cried Down The Aisle

Our ceremony consisted of Calvin and Hobbes quotes, Dr. Seuss vows, snotty tissues and lots of laughter.

There weren't many tears leading up to our wedding day. I was fairly collected, almost numb to the hustle and bustle of the last week of wedding planning and the stress of managing so many people for one big day. 

When everyone left the bridal room and took their places in the chapel, I sat there by myself in my flowery white dress, and really panicked. Not because I was scared to marry Micah. Quite the opposite. All of the stress, all of the time, all of the money came down to this moment. I also realized that everyone would be looking at me. 

Lots and lots of beady, tear filled eyes on me. I was the kid who covered her ears and hid under the table when people sang Happy Birthday to me at my party.

Instant panic.

So I turned on Florence and the Machine, danced around my bridal suite and played quite a few games of Free Cell on my computer to calm the nerves. It was time to walk down that aisle, and I was pumped. 

The attendants opened the door, and I felt myself make a "AUHP" sound and went to cover my face. What was that?? I put my bouquet down and took a few steps. Another "AHUP" noise. Um? I tried putting the bouquet down and out came the tears. And snot. 

So I started what looked like my walk to the electric chair to my future husband. Luckily for me, he didn't wait long. I made it just under half way down the aisle and stopped and he met me there and let me boo hoo it out for a second. I was a frackin mess.

Notice how all of the photos are from the back? That was the last command that I uttered as I walked down the aisle, purple as a grape and praying no one was catching my ugly cry up the aisle.

Once we got up there, I was mostly composed. My nose, however, felt that it still needed to let some more out, and continued to run for most of the ceremony. My mom caught on that I was needing reprieve of the snot lining my upper lip and had a tissue passed up all 8 bridesmaids. 

I handed the tissue back to my MOH and she was clearly pleased with that move.

Because some people have asked why I chose to walk alone, here is why:

 I have a biological father and a step dad. My step dad adopted me at 16, but we were never close. We were civil at best. He left my mom for other women in an ugly divorce my freshman year of college, and it tore all of us apart. He explicitly said he didn't want a part in my life, as I technically wasn't his child, and I respected that. We mended fences shortly before the wedding, but the damage is still there. My biological father and I didn't and still don't really know much of each other.

For me, tradition is something to be followed only if the tradition fits the situation, not simply because the tradition exists. The father gives away the bride as an act of symbolism, saying "I've been the man in her life, the example to her up to this point. I showed her what a good man is, and taught her how to conduct herself in a relationship. I have approved this man for her and nurtured her and guided her in this relationship."

None of those things applied. I chose Micah, I spoke to my stepdad maybe once throughout the relationship, and I made the decisions that led me to marry him. So I thought it fitting to walk myself down the aisle, as I didn't need anyone to direct and support me in my decision. I chose this for myself and wanted to stand alone in my decision.