When the Leaves

02 November 2012

Autumn is my most favorite time of year. 

The air gets crisp, humidity goes down and the holiday season begins. Blazers, boots and scarves become wardrobe staples and the occasional sweater makes an appearance. Comfort food is at its prime, and you're allowed to burn candles that smell like leaves and pumpkin.
Autumn has also been the most heartbreaking of all the seasons for me. Every major break up that I have gone through has been between the months of August and November. While the light dims and the air cools, my heart flutters with excitement, but also with a sense of impending sadness. I remember watching the leaves change and the earth settle in for a long hibernation, and thinking that I'd be spending the holidays alone, left to snuggle up in cozy sweaters and down blankets instead of the arms of the one I was missing. Just as the cologne of a love or the smell of mom's pecan pie can conjure up memories of a love past or childhood holidays, the diminished light and crunching leaves occasionally remind me of a lingering sadness. Yes, I am now happily married with a wonderful husband, but the sting of a love lost never really disappears. 

This could be because I had no real variation in when I experienced a breakup, or have a tendency to tie my memories to smells or seasons or even a specific location.  But for whatever reason, this season has held a bit of melancholy for me.

After many fall seasons spent picking up the pieces of shattered expectations, it has been incredibly refreshing to experience fall with consistent joy and fulfillment. This year, Micah will be helping set up our Christmas tree and will be hanging lights around the house. I will have someone to rave over my spice cake for Thanksgiving, and to explore a pumpkin patch with. I am building new memories during my favorite time of year, and now I'll smile and remember that the seasons past are what brought me here today. 
I'm not a very 'mushy' person who gushes over her love for her husband, but felt like I should share this. Yes there are arguments and power struggles and miscommunications. But at the end of the day, I've got my love to keep me warm.


  1. This was a sweet post. Being in love with someone and sharing the little things (like spice cake and Christmas lights) is what makes life so special! Enjoy the season :)

  2. :D i used to feel similarly about odd numbered years (weird right?) so this is a sweet post i totalllyyy relate to. great when that all goes away.

    <3 katherine
    of corgis and cocktails

  3. This post is absolutely beautiful!! And what gorgeous shots!
    xo TJ

  4. This is so beautiful and touching, thanks for sharing your story! Happy Friday!
    xo Hannah

  5. I tie memories to seasons and music a lot. Winter is where I feel the sting of sadness, while driving and listening to Ingrid Michaelson especially. That's so great that you're able to rebuild and replace those sad fall memories with new, full of love experiences.

  6. Sooo sweet. :) I LOVE that last picture of you two. Hope you have a wonderful weekend, Britt!

  7. Such a sweet piece of writing! Although you never actually spill a lot of your love story, I can definitely feel the love while you are writing this piece!!! Would you like to follow each other on gfc and bloglovin to stay in touch?

    The Closet 365

  8. This is a sweet post. I can relate in an opposite way - all of my relationships have ever started in the Fall. So the fall for me is a time of love, excitement and happiness even through all of the cold and rainy weather. This year is the first in 7 that I'm going into the fall single and it feels weird!

  9. Autumn is my most favorite season. The weather is so cool and pleasant. I almost go out everyday just to enjoy the sunshine and the wind.

    xx Sophie

  10. love this post :) it's so sweet. i'm a new follower of your blog (i love the cute design) and actually found you through laura (the luckiest in love). hope you'll check out my blog as well :)

  11. Don't you have the cutest blog on the block?! I am your newest follower, looking forward to reading more :)

  12. Love your blog...
    Would you like to follow each other?
    Hope to hear from you soon
    Ally O


  13. Fall has become my favorite season because of all the colors and I'm obsessed with pumpkin. Love it. Thanks so much for your sweet comments on my flat iron review and btw...you have great hair! I'm your newest follower:)


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