How to Catch a Chicken

01 May 2013

Yeah, I don't know how either. I did however, have to learn.

Dare I say, "On the fly."

A few weeks ago on a Thursday morning I was backing out of my driveway for work and glanced at my mirror in time to something red run out from under my car. I did a double take and realized I was looking at the back end of a chicken running across the street. Now, my everyday life doesn't normally include close interactions with barnyard life, so chicken wrangling isn't on my list of have-dones. In fact, it was on my list of hope-to-nevers.
As I continued to back out, I realized that the poor guy was probably going to get run over or poached by one of my rather aggressive cats, so I felt it was fate that I ended up spotting him on the one morning I was running a little ahead of schedule. Figuring he came from the neighbor's chicken yard, I got out of my car, strolled over to the neighbor's and bent over to help my new friend over the fence. Lesson #1: Chickens aren't fond of being handled. I was met with severe clucking, wing flapping and talon thrashing. I also found that this particular chicken was freakishly fast. Before I could grab on, the bird took off on a death run with in my opinion, excessive amounts of directional changes and head bobbing. 
Once I realized this wasn't going to be a walk in the park, I devised a strategy. I would use some chicken wire that was lying in the yard and lay it against the fence, creating a tunnel to herd the chicken into, and then placed a large empty trash bin at the end to act as the receptacle. My plan was to swiftly grab the trash can and dump the little red bastard over the fence. What I didn't plan on was the chicken exiting the tunnel early. Lesson #2: Chickens will peck the hell out of you. 
{Tee} Gap Outlet  {Skinnies} Rue 21  {Flats} Target  {Bag} Coach 
{Scarf} Forever 21  {Sunnies} Ray Ban  {Watch} Target
After multiple laps around the yard and a few attempts to scare it back over the fence, I had really had enough. Here I am trying to spare this tasty idiot back into a yard that I had no business being in in the first place. I decided to try the tunnel experiment one more time before giving up and saving myself some money on cat food for the next few days. I shooed him back into the tunnel, and as he popped out the other side, I grabbed him around the middle and in true shot-put style chucked that mother clucker over the fence in one fell swoop. 

Brittany: Wife, therapist, blogger, chicken wrangler.

7 comments:

  1. This is such a great story. It must have been quite the exercise, catching a chicken with no prior experience. I'm glad you succeed in getting it over the yard.

    Lovely outfit by the way.

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  2. Hahhah this is an amazing story and go you with the tunneling!

    I have a story up on my blog tomorrow about how I recently had to help wrangle a wallaby while on vacation. Oh the things that enter our life!

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  3. This is hilarious. I hope I don't ever have to chase a chicken... while the excessive head bobbing sounds hilarious, the pecking does not.

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  4. Hi there! I just found your blog via The Pleated Poppy! I adore this outfit and your blog! I'm following you now, and I'd love for you to check out my blog and latest post! Have an amazing Thursday!

    xo, Elle
    http://livingincolorstyle.blogspot.com/2013/05/white-out.html

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  5. Hahaha, too funny! Glad you finally caught the guy, though. They are surprisingly fast.

    Also, I love the stripes with the green pants and coral scarf. Very cute and fresh!

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  6. HAHA!! That was freaking hilarious. You are a true story teller, my friend.

    xo
    Kym
    bitty.and.bunny

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